New Blog

It has been a very long time. For the next 100 days I will be posting to the 100 Days blog that can be accessed by clicking on my profile. Happy New Year!

I miss walking

It has been 11 days since surgery. The weather has been gorgeous the past few days and its making me miss walking even more. But I have been being patient and keeping it elevated and icing it. I have been watching what I eat. Cooking whole grains, eating raw vegetables and legumes. No weight loss but no weight gain. I am enjoying being at home, and having my Grandson here to look after me.

Foot surgery

Being over weight on crutches really sucks. I have had to very nice trips. I managed to get down a few pounds. Then I gained it back. Now I've had foot surgery and I feel the weight.

The Twelve Days of Fitness

Today I realized I had 12 days until we take a girls getaway trip that I planned for my mother, my daughter and me. I grew some obnoxious body fat this winter, lounging around complacently, doing as I pleased, etc. I've been halfhearted in my attempts to reverse the process but made a commitment over the weekend to go to the gym each day. This morning when I counted the days to vacation, I thought "only 12 days!" But then the Twelve Days of Fitness came to mind. I don't have to have some numerical body weight goal, I can make these next 12 days full of all my favorite fitness tools. Tracking, plenty of water, exercise, etc. and establish habits that seem to have slipped away. It's all about habits. Break a bad one by substituting a good one.

More will be revealed!

Long time no post

I haven't been posting mostly because I don't know where to begin or what to say anymore. Grandson moved out and I've been sad about that. I don't want to post about his private stuff in a public place so I'll leave it at that. We had a very nice Christmas - my Mom came and spent a week and we had some high quality time together. I hosted Christmas Eve and we all had a good time. I've had some reconstructive dental work so I'm on a soft diet right now but there are plenty of ways to get good nutrition. I think I post less because so much of what I'd post about is personal and I'm no longer comfortable putting it out here without some privacy. One of the best things I've learned lately I'd that rest and sleep do miraculous wonders for my state if mind! I make sure I'm in bed for a minimum of 8 to 9 hours each night. I feel so much better. I no longer feel like I have to do things if I am tired. If I am tired, I rest. My state of mind has improved greatly with just this simple practice. I also stay out of other people's business!

Acceptance

I have reached a new level of surrender and acceptance. As I begin to focus more on taking care if me, I see how much I neglected myself, especially in some areas of my health. Some of it was a rude shock but shortly after the shock I find that I am able to forgive myself, mostly, and deal with what is left, what I have today. The past is over. I am dealing with the consequences of the past, but the past is gone. I have the here and now, I'm still alive and I have the resources to make my life better. I can find out what makes me happy and do those things to heal and thrive, and move on. I feel peace with myself and everyone else more now than ever.

Update

Sorry about the last post, my phone did that. My foot started hurting again and I am at the doctor. I am doing things to take better care if myself, including enjoying myself. I went horseback riding on Sunday and loved it. I also bought an easel and put it in my big empty room ( had the floors put in so we emptied it out) and I am drawing with water color pencil and water soluble wax. Also have my yoga mat, weights, stability ball in there. A reading chair, plants and music - it's evolving into a studio of sorts. My weight isn't going anywhere but now that I am getting back to taking care of me, that should change soon.

🐖🐖

Things are a little crazy

Problems with grandson. Very busy and trying to resolve some things. Not gaining or losing.

Turning things around

Thursday evening I ran across a bag of candy I had forgotten. I started nibbling and then I stopped myself and decided to immediately begin exercising and continue for 30 minutes. I felt so good after that I decided to go to the gym and for another workout. I was so glad that I made that decision. Sometimes I don't want to leave the house and go to the gym but deciding to have an emergency session at home worked out great. All the candy has been removed.

No more candy

I barely had any trick or treaters. Next year I'm skipping it. I am going to try and return unopened bags, and give the rest away at the office.

So much for that. I made salsa and lemon balm tea.

Checking in on Candy day

I had a nice workout last night and I have a plan for this evening to deal with candy. I consider myself vulnerable - it has not been very long since my unfortunate candy eating ended. I have a nice bag of frozen mixed fruit for snacking this evening and hope to turn in early and watch some classic scary movies while sipping my own lemon balm tea made from the leaves of my homegrown herb.

Salad!

I used my own home grown tomatoes and fresh basil in this tuna, tomato and artichoke heart salad. The basil leaves add so much flavor that I do not use any dressing, reducing fat and calories. My blahs are getting better. Had a lovely hike and swim in Sunday and a great session with weights on Saturday. Also making sure to get plenty of sleep and rest.

The blahs

I have been feeling a little down and lacking enthusiasm. I think I was used to carb highs and comfort eating. Now I am out here in reality without a crutch. I did not feel like exercising last week but I did it anyway. I am hanging in there though and believing the blahs will pass. Not quite blue enough to be the blues.

Portioning

I have been cutting in half what I want to eat. After I eat it I wait a little bit to see if I need to eat the rest, or if I am satisfied. I can then either eat the rest, or save for later.

This stretches the food budget and tunes me in to how much I actually need.

I am also eating slower, a huge milestone for me. Since I don't starve myself, I am not famished when it is time to eat, inhaling food in a state of emergency. I am hungry but still have my wits about me.

Showing up

Went to first support group weigh-in last night. Glad I joined. It was small, informative and friendly. The main thing I want right now is some accountability and stability. Showing up at the same place at the same time and having my weight recorded will provide some of that plus its only about four miles away!

Showing up is important to me. Hiding out keeps me on the same old patterns.

Handling situations

I wanted to go to pot luck dinner last night for a support group I attend. I was not interested in eating, mainly wanted to hear the speakers and say hi to people. At first I thought about having a food budget for the event and trying to find foods that fit my needs but quickly ruled that out. Past experience has proven potluck food to be outside my parameters. So here's what I did: I ate before arriving, brought a large bottled water and hot tea, plus one stick of gum. I arrived shortly before the speakers, at the tail end of the eating part. That gave me time for any hellos. I ignored the food tables, they were nonexistent in my experience of the event.

I enjoyed the evening very much. I sipped my water and tea, and took in the event food free. At home afterward I had my planned evening meal and went to bed relaxed, happy and satisfied. This was all very easy.

Tallying successes

This week I had two perfect days and two not so bad days. All days were a huge improvement on the past couple of months. Never have I been so conscious of a gain and how it happened. I joined a non profit weight loss support group and got out of the house on three week nights. I'm looking back on the positives. I have tracked every day without fail even when I had extra food, staying in reality and out of denial. I've lost a couple of pounds but not officially weighing in until Monday.

Afternoon mini-meal

Tuna and tomato salad with black pepper - yum!

Joys of Yogurt

I use plain Greek yogurt for a meal. I choose the highest protein lowest carb version that I can find for the best price.  There is one with only 80 calories.  I also use it for dip and dressing, in place of sour cream.  I layer salsa on it for a dip, etc.  I freeze light, flavored yogurts for a treat.  Usually under 100 calories in a variety of flavors, it is like eating ice cream.  I take it out frozen and let it sit a while so it is easier to eat.  I love it.  It takes longer to eat and I feel satisfied.  Sometimes I mix a high fiber, high protein, low sugar ceral with yogurt. And sometimes I mix a little brown rice. The possibilities are endless.