The picture is not the Wow, read on..
Today I had a major awakening. Now I know nothing I say here has not been said before by me, but the way I feel about it is different. This morning I realized that at my age and activity level I do not NEED the amount of calories I take in each day. I also eat way too much sugar and do not NEED sugar at all. I have been eating for all the wrong reasons, boredom, tiredness, loneliness, anxiety and so on. Now I have always known this, but today it just all made perfect sense and I felt real peaceful about it. What makes sense now also is I do not NEED the food for the anxiety, boredom, tiredness, loneliness and so on, either. There are real solutions for those. Food is just an illusion, a quick fix, a crutch and it hurts more than it helps in the long run.
I know I have said this in many ways and felt it and believed it before yet I could not do anything about it. But today it became easy - like a light went on or something. I decided to cut the sugar entirely, and cut a majority of the unnecessary carbs and eat a very small "meal" every couple of hours or so and see how each food made me feel. I drank lots of water. I took time to marvel at the nourishment of the food and taste, and what it was going to do for my body. I also noted how I felt after I ate to see which foods were better for keeping me steady. I think this may be what they call mindful eating but I did not plan it that way.
I also wrote in my journal what I can do for all those emotions and feelings that used to trigger food "craving" and I know I have done THAT before, too. But today it made simple sense and felt easy. I wrote out what I was looking forward to doing at home tonight that had nothing to do with food and there was a nice list (included blogging) and then I wrote about what food I could look forward to enjoying if I needed to eat. There was no struggle today over food. No conflict. I ate what I planned to eat. I ate what made sense and I appreciated it. I took my dog walk, did my errands, etc., and now it is close to bedtime. I am satisfied and happy and have NO desire for food.
Wow, what is the deal? I am going to enjoy this. It's great! PS here is a picture that Grandson took of me and the dog after church yesterday. Its the only photo of me I have liked in over a year.