Sunday, November 29, 2009

Post Eating Holiday Detox

Thanksgiving went pretty good. I did not get that uncomfortable way too full feeling, did not load up on desserts, etc. I did eat more than normal. I did enjoy what I ate. Daughter and I talked about holiday depression afterwards because seeing my father in his condition and then stopping by and seeing my brother had an impact on her this year. Family events always have an impact on me. She talked about how things will never be like they used to be at holidays. This year my father went in his room at dinner time and did not want to come out to the table to eat. We understood. Nobody took it personally. He was overwhelmed for one thing. He had sat at the dining room table for longer than usual while we were having the appetizer/relish tray and he also came out and sat for quite a while having dessert.

We don't get to have all the family together for a number of reasons right now. My brother can't be around Dad because the Alzheimer's has impacted Dad in a way that makes him a little hostile toward my brother, and my brother's mental illness adds to it, and makes it hard for him to understand what is going on with my Dad. So brother had Thanksgiving alone but for the brief stop by from the kids and me on our way home dropping off dinner to him. My sons are not able to be with any of us - we have to visit them in separate parts of the state. So, yes, holidays are not big family gatherings. I guess I have grown used to it. But when Daughter pointed it out this year we had a long talk about that sort of thing. We also talked about how we want to deal with holidays this year. Our idea is to focus on giving, and we chose a couple of charities we like.

I felt tired and off focus on Friday and I had to go in to work. Long story about time off and holidays, very confusing. I could have been off and from now on will take off on holidays. I was at my pre-holiday weight on Saturday morning which was good, but Saturday I developed what I consider a migraine, in fact looking back now I believe it started Friday. So Saturday was tricky. I joined a new gym with a wet area on Friday night but Saturday I just could not get it together to bike ride or go to the gym. We opted for a movie night. And I ordered pizza. I got that uncomfortable full feeling, and I ate too much.

So now comes the detox part. I slept really good last night and for a long time. I got up and the migraine feelings were all gone. I detoxed today. I drank water, I went to the gym. I had cardio, steam room and sauna. I did lower body resistance machines. It felt good and eased the post holiday blues. I ate very little all day and had a nice dinner with the kids in the evening which did not involved any over eating or unhealthy trigger foods. I feel really good right now. Looking back on the pizza thing, I don't really know how bad it was actually except that I got too full. It was thin crust and pretty light for pizza that is, but I just had too much of it, plus a large helping of salad in addition to what I ate waiting for the pizza guy... But that's over now and time to move on.

I will see if I am back to my pre-holiday weight again in the morning. I am glad I joined the new gym. It is not far from home and it has everything I like. The pool is not so big but technically has four lanes. There is only one divider, though and then there are two striped lanes in each divided area. So sharing is important and I am timid being around big time swimmers but I will get in there and do my thing. There are yoga classes, too, and I think I might do a water class. I am looking forward to it. I love the steam room. I feel so good afterward.

So I am detoxing from the holiday. There were good parts and not as good parts. Sad elements and happy ones. I took a walk in the woods and I took Daughter for driving practice on the country road at Mom and Dad's place. There are many things to be grateful for but I do need to deal with the grief. I've been stuffing feelings lately so probably a good thing that Daughter is vocalizing things now.

More will be revealed..

Monday, November 23, 2009

Getting Ready and Getting Grateful

I am getting ready for Thanksgiving. We are going to see my parents. We are keeping things simple. My mom is consumed most of the time with Dad's Alzheimer's condition so there is no need to add extra work with food preparation. She is putting a turkey in the oven and some sweet potatoes baked plain so whoever wants to dress them up can add ingredients. I am making a broccoli casserole for the kids. Each kid picked a dessert. If Mom feels like baking a pie she will. I am bringing raw veggies and cheese and crackers, gherkins and artichoke hearts, jumbo shrimp and crab meat for a relish tray. Odd combinations perhaps but I just picked out some things that we like. I will be looking forward to the turkey, and the appetizers. I love shrimp. I bought some very spicy cocktail sauce. I am looking forward to foods that are safe for me to eat.

My treat is special coffee with Mom. I bought one of those brew by the cup things, do they have a name? You put it on top of the cup, with a filter in it, place the coffee in the filter and pour hot water through it. I love them. I have one at work. I have special decaf and regular. Biscotti and cool whip free. That is my dessert to savor with Mom. I am looking forward to the warmth of companionship. I love spending time with my Mom. I love being in the country at their house. This could be the last Thanksgiving there. It it getting too hard for her to live out there with Dad being in his condition. So I am going to savor the front porch, the woods and the whole experience. The healing aroma of the turkey warming the house. Maybe a family favorite Christmas movie in the evening. I want to look at pictures and share fond memories of our lives together. I want my Mom and I to tell stories to the kids about how things used to be. These are precious gifts that money cannot buy.

I am not worried about overeating, or weight gain. I am just looking forward to being there and enjoying a good meal. I am eating less in the days prior. Today is a very good day. I was too busy to have t0 worry about evening eating. I visited my brother who is doing good in his little place. He works just enough hours to support himself and even put a little money back now. I am so glad he found that little spot to live in. It is so affordable, and so simple and cozy for him. He is not going with us to Mom and Dad's because he is still getting over the trauma of living with Dad last year. He has trouble with the Alzheimer's impact on Dad, and Dad had trouble accepting him in the house so we may try for a Christmas visit.

My renter called today (she paid the rent this month, last Thursday, but she paid..) around 4 p.m. wanting me to fix the oven before Thanksgiving. I did not know it needed fixing but it heats up slow and it is a gas oven. Fortunately I called an appliance place and someone is coming out. I told them what I was willing to spend to fix it and we will just have to see what the deal is. It is kind of last minute for a repair like that. I can't take off work but the repairman is going to call me from the job. I hope it works out ok. Last week she called and said water was dripping from a vent but it was because her kids had been overflowing the upstairs toilet and not cleaning it up and water leaked heaven knows where and ended up in the vents. I cringe to think of the house right now but I make the repairs promptly. I cautioned her about negligence with plumbing and water and explained that she would be responsible for her kids leaving water on floors and so on. I want to think she cares but it does not matter. I take it as it comes. It is what it is. She paid November's rent in November. I keep thinking if I am the best landlord she will pay on time but that's kinda silly really.

Anyway I did not have a food event over the house repair. Things breaking at the house used to really really freak me out but I am getting so much better. I just pay people to fix them and thank God, the universe, and whatever other entities are out there working in my favor, that I have the means to pay these people. Speaking of which I got a bill from the lawyer. It was worth it to have his advice even though I never had him do anything yet.

Well I am getting ready to sleep and want to read some blogs. I am stepping up my blog reading so I can sail through these food festivals without remorse, self loathing and feel great about what I eat and who I am eating it with....

I am grateful that I can pay to have the oven fixed. Grateful that I have someone living in that house. Grateful she pays even if its late. Grateful that she and her children will enjoy a thanksgiving dinner together in the cute little house.


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Guilty Pleasure

I bought myself a netbook or notebook or mini as it is called. I have been planning this for a while. I wanted an easy transaction. I wanted to walk in a retail store and buy something off the shelf, stress free at a price I could live with. I wanted it to work right away and it to feel easy.

So tonight I was shopping with the idea that if the opportunity arose I would look. If you guys recall I had a nightmare of an experience buying my laptop over the phone and had problems upon problems and most of it centered on customer service over the phone. So, tonight I was out and popped in an office supply store to look. They had what I wanted in a couple of brands and sizes. The manager had lots of time to spend with me and when he was called away he had a techie guy hang out with me. I know business is slow and I am glad to buy from people these days because it helps the economy. But I am very impressed with good honest customer service. These guys actually sold me the smaller less expensive model. The guy kept telling me from time to time that the one that cost more was not in comparison that much better for the money.

It was great really. It was easy. I got to ask all my questions, play with the products and he threw in a free case. If my mini goes on sale on black Friday or any time in the next thirty days or so, I get the price difference or something like that. I have real people to call about it. Or even go see for service. I even bought the protection plan so if it falls out of my backpack, or I drop it down the stairs I can get it fixed or replaced. He also stressed that if I don't like it I can return it within 30 days after trying it out. I feel so good about this. I got the little guy out in the car and packed it in its case and went straight to a free wifi coffee joint. I set it up in a matter of 15 minutes and have been happily blogging ever since.

I can slip this little notebook in my purse. The screen is big enough for my older eyes to see all I want to see, the keys on the keyboard are big, and it is very user friendly. Happy Happy joy joy. I want to hide it from the kids for as long as possible. I have missed blogging at the coffee house so much. And being mobile with the laptop.

Anyway, I had a pretty good bike ride (actuall two) today but I am still lugging around the extra weight I do not want. I have to put it in perspective, though. Tonight when I was out I stopped in a store because I saw a sweater I liked. The sales lady came to greet me and I told her I thought the sweater was pretty. She very sweetly told me none of the clothes there would fit me because it was a plus sized store. I still feel big but people see me as normal sized. I told her the clothes were all so cute and she jokingly said "you will just have to eat more!" Well, I won't be doing that.

In fact I have decided to eat less, but savor more. That's my motto for today and the holidays. Eat less, savor more. Eat less, love more. Eat less, move more. Eat less, play more. Eat less, run more. Eat less, walk, bike, dance.. more. You get it...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Spicy Food

I am enjoying a spicy salad while waiting for my chicken breast to bake. I use spicy hot salsa and cottage cheese to make a dressing for my spicy salads. I have read that eating spicy food curbs the appetite but I am not sure if that is true for me. I will see tonight since evenings have been challenging lately. I have been working hard and feeling very productive at my new job and when I get home I feel like lounging around. I want to start an evening exercise ritual of some sort. Anyway, I will have to report back tomorrow on the spicy food experiment...

Grateful today for how hard my daughter studies, and how well behaved both my teenagers are! Can't say the boy studies, I never see a book open in front of him, but his grades are good so far..

Been forgetting my gratitudes..

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Biking for Distance

Today I challenged myself on my bike ride. I did an eight mile round trip and tried to work on speed and endurance. I went four miles took a short water break and had small snack and then turned around and went the four miles back. It was a great workout. I don't usually go that far and I never measure really or time myself. It was nice to have a goal and to feel like I accomplished something. I know I can go further, but this was good for today. Then I had my cozy coffee experience afterward. It got steadily colder during the day so I am glad I rode when I did. It is raining now.

There may not be as much nice weather since we are into mid-November now but I plan to ride when I can and now that outdoor activity is limited I guess I can start hitting the gym again. I want to pay up a membership where there is a pool. I miss swimming!

Got to get to sleep for now. Trying to bump up the exercise before the next eating holiday. I love warm fires and baking. Today I cooked a roast. I can still bake and roast, just have to make sure I do it in a way that does not sabatoge my healthy eating!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Finally a Photo!

Finally uploaded pictures from our trip. I like this one of the three of us at the Bean... I have been getting over being sick and my energy is getting better. The first couple of days this week I felt pretty lousy at work but not unbearable. A little better every day. Just wanted to share a photo. More later...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Library

Daughter was sick all last week. I have it now in a milder version, but I am trying to ignore it as much as I can. It is mostly a cough and upper respiratory ick and I tire easy. I am taking extra vitamin C and lots of liquid. It is such a beautiful weekend I did not want to miss out on the weather. I did my favorite Saturday morning ritual of a bike ride and coffee shop yesterday. I took it easy on the bike ride. This morning I stayed in prepping veggies for the week but may do a nice dog walk on the river front if I feel up to it. The fresh air should do me good.

We cleaned house yesterday downstairs and that makes my room mess even more unbearable. I am not up to that task yet so I have set up shop in the library. I love this room. It is bright all day with natural light. It is full of books and inspiration. It is just big enough for a small couch and a chair. I watched a movie in here on my laptop last night and also lounged around reading from some of the many books. I have a lot of great books. I added a couple that I found to my coffee table books. I don't buy books too much anymore but we used to go to the bookstore often when daughter was younger. We'd relax and read for hours and then each pick a book to bring home.

I had lost five pounds as of the middle of last week, staying faithfully on a program of healthy eating but when I got sick I started eating weird stuff. Three pounds were back this morning but I am not worried. I am stabilizing today and that fluctuation will go back down. I wish I had not deviated but I am not going to beat myself up and get all sad over it. I am moving on. I stocked up with the veggies and lean protein and I am prepared. One thing that helps me is to clean, cut, chop, peel, etc. all the fresh veggies on the weekend after I purchase them. If I don't then during the week I am far less likely to use them because the task of preparation is too daunting. So I have them all at my fingertips now.

I feel very optimistic and good about my body. Being in the library reminds me of how far I have come. Many of the books purchased in the self help department were to address issues that I have faced and healed, including the food issues. It makes me happy to see all the many different books I drew inspiration from. Different programs of eating all meshed together to make up my choices that eventually melted away fifty pounds or more of fat. I will never really know how high my highest weight was because I stopped weighing in the worst of times. But it does not matter to me anymore. What matters is now. I am at a very good place in my life right now. The pesky pounds that I work with now are manageable and no longer overpowering like in the old days.

Anyway, I am getting a bit tired so it is time for rest.

Today I am extremely thankful for my home and especially my little library.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Proclamation Extension

The candy is gone now (hooray!) and I ate none of it. I have extended the Proclamation to any sweets for now. The sweetest thing I have eaten are my frozen blueberries and the fresh crispy apples. Today I am grateful for New Job. I am grateful for Ezekiel sprouted wheat bread which I finally decided to try. The price put me off before, but when I shopped for office food I decided it would be handy because it comes frozen. So far a loaf has lasted from last week into this week. It satisfies without making me crave more. It is amazing actually. I am grateful for Our Lady of Weight Loss. I have been reading from her two books each night at bedtime. Also I have Wisdom Cards published by Hay House (Louise Hay) that I flip through before sleep. They are positive statements with drawings and bright colors. I love them.

It has been a week now since I started my new eating habits and I feel very good about it.. I naturally gravitate to the veggies and lean meat. I cut up fresh veggies tonight so I would have a supply. I boiled eggs and made salmon salad. I was tired but determined. It is so rewarding to be prepared. So today I am also grateful to be prepared. And grateful for my friends who are landlords who recommended a lawyer to assist with the Situation a/k/a operation Love Boat. You have to read this past Friday's post to understand the name.

Anyway as always, more will be revealed!!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happy Gratitude Month

I was true to my Halloween Proclamation and I was down two pounds for today's weigh-in so the re-gained pounds are going away (again). Being true to myself is so crucial to eating healthy. No one but me makes the choice!

It is sort of a tradition to talk about gratitude in November. I talk about gratitude often, but make it a point to bring it up in November for the Thanksgiving Holiday. Maybe this year I can celebrate Thanksgiving by actually thanking people. Sending thank you notes or something. I am keeping food on the back burner this year. Sure, I want to make nice meals at the holidays with some traditional items, but it will feel better for me if they are good for us and not something that will sabotage progress.

Back to gratitude and appreciation. I appreciate the blogging community so very much. I can always find hope, strength, inspiration, understanding, humor, good ideas, and more when I take the time to read and cruise my blogging community. I have found unconditional acceptance and support in the past three plus years. I am so glad that so many of us are still posting even if only every so often when we have the time. So for today I am grateful for the blogs. I will try to include at least one thing I am grateful for in each post this month.

Anyway, also grateful I have passed up the candy bowl for what might be the first time in my memories of Halloween. I do recall a Halloween when I was on the soup diet (anyone remember that?- tomatoes, cabbage and onions..yikes!!) where I munched celery and such but even then I most likely had a little something.

Thanks to you all you blogging buddies!!!!