I meant to blog this weekend but never got to it. I had a very productive weekend and feel great about it. I have had things weighing on me and was able to lift at least two big ones. I had my taxes done on Sunday after getting the paper work together and reviewing the forms from last year. It was much better than I thought. I actually come out ahead - paying a small sum to the state and getting a big enough chunk from federal to pay for the tax service and still have a little chunk left! What a huge relief! Setting my withholding high at my new job was a good idea since I was getting double paychecks for a couple of months at the end of the tax year.
I also cleaned the side of the garage that is supposed to hold another car. It's a two car garage but junk was spread all over and it was getting tricky just to pull my one car in. My son had found a used car at a real deal and put some work into it only to find out that it was going to take some more effort and money to get his license due to past mistakes that still waited for him after all those years. He was disappointed but I decided to pay him what he had invested in the car so I'd have it for my daughter when she drives. It is not much too look at but it's an old Honda - one of my favorite kinds. It passed safety inspection and can be licensed so I took it in. If feels nice to have two cars in the garage and daughter is happy because she was not thinking she would get a car to drive at all. My hope is she can use it in the summer to work part time and drive it to school and back next year. Her radius will be very small and limited but I want her to grow up and learn to manage responsibilities. My son and I agree that having a bit of a clunker is a rite of passage and even though he was disappointed he did not end up with the car it made him happy it was still going to be in the family.
Court went well for him. It was a nightmare drive two and from, though, because we fought terribly about some things. It was a standoff of sorts. I stood up to him about some boundaries. I am not happy at how I communicated but it is over and we have moved on. I think I bottle things up too much and blow up and let them all out when I am under pressure. He took the five year of probation which was a very good deal for him so long as he can behave himself. I got what was left of the bond money refunded to me and it was huge relief to have that issue no longer between us. He is very grateful for my help. The lawyer I hired was well worth the money. I have no regrets about giving my son the opportunity to be free and move on with his life. Although court day was rough between us we have healed our wounds for now and our relationship is back to amicable.
Daughter and I had a girl's day/night together Saturday for the first time in ages. Grandson went to his dad's house and her boyfriend was grounded for staying at our house way too late the night before. I was happy about that actually. It took her shopping for spring clothes. I bought a gift for my son's girlfriend and her kids. She is such a good person and I am grateful he has her in his life. I wanted to do something that would bring joy to them all. She works hard and does not make a very high wage. She had been trying to get the kids a wi (or is it s wii?) and my son had been trying to help. My daughter and I went and bought one and just brought it over along with a bottle of her favorite perfume (she was totally out - no woman should have to go without fragrance) and surprised them. I enjoyed it so much. It still makes me happy to think about it. I can't fix some of the things I wish I could fix but I can pick a nice thing to do when I am able and bring some joy into somebody's life without any expectations attached.
I took a Saturday morning riverfront walk with a friend after meeting at the coffee house, lunched with a buddy on Sunday in addition to the fun I had with daughter. So there was work and play. I even went through piles of paperwork at home getting ready for taxes and my personal injury settlement. There were plenty of other chores left on the list at the end of the weekend but I felt very good about what I had accomplished. And I had a lot of joy and quality time with friends and family. If I focus on the things I can do, and not the stuff I can't, I am so much happier. I am even reading a new book - couldn't commit to anymore than magazine browsing for a while.
One other major accomplishment was meeting the tenant at the rental house Sunday morning and giving her a demand letter for the money she owes. She should be out by Wednesday night and she has not paid for March. She told me Friday she would not be able to pay until late April. I had little faith in that actually happening so I told her I had to serve her with the paperwork so I could take her to court if she did not pay. I went by the house and picked trash out of the yard in the rain and called her. She met me and we sat in her car and talked. She told me she had been a bad tenant. I told her she was not bad, that she just got in over her head. I told her I had to do what was best for me and my family and I did not want to have to sue her, or contact her where she worked. I just wanted the last month's rent and I would forgive all the late fees. She gave me her new address, signed a receipt for the letter and we parted on good terms. Me minus the March rent. I will sue her if I must, but I am not going to languish in resentment or take it personally.
So the rental house is coming my way soon. I also had an uplifting talk with a landlord that I called after passing a sign in a yard. He gave me pointers on how to research to set my price, and some tips on marketing the house. He also says they average about twelve to eighteen calls a day on their house for rent. I only need one renter. I am going to enjoy planting flowers and spending some time over there at the house. It is mine and in reality it is an asset. No sense thinking doom and gloom. I will start fresh with my efforts to find the next person who will pay my mortgage for me on my investment. That is how I choose to see it today.
Choosing to see things in a positive way is my current effort. I saw my therapist today and I will be doing a thought diary. It is a great process for seeing how my thoughts impact my feelings, identifying distortions and correcting them. Modifying my thinking is something I can do. I am excited about life again today. I can say no to what I don't want and yes to what I do want. I can make time for things I enjoy. Pretty good for a Monday!
More will be revealed.
PS weight wise I rose about five pounds during the time between daughter's first therapy session and right after Son's court date. Not surprising. I corrected the pattern and the pounds are coming off. Not a big deal after all. Yes, it would be great not to fluctuate but in the big scheme of things I am just happy to be where I am today in my body.