I'm still here. I appreciate the comments and support. Not much time to write but wanted to check in. I went to help my Mom get ready to move. I also took pictures of the property and my Dad's woodworking workshop and tool shed. I am thinking of art projects related to things that represent what he did in his life. I took home one of his manuscripts and started reading it. Unfortunately the first chapter described a soldier's funeral. So the detailed description of the military honors was just like his own funeral. I felt really weird after that. I stopped reading. I find I am sensitive and prone to depression the past couple of days but then, maybe that is how I always am.. I miss how I used to be. Happier and confident. I seem to have lost some confidence somewhere in the job loss, new job adjustment, death, illness and other things going on in the past year. I remember what it felt like to be excited about life and feel like I had things to look forward to. I hope to get that back. Today it is not here but I will get some sleep tonight and hope for the best. I know I need a therapist and I have one but I have been afraid to take time off of work and she only sees people in the day. flimsy excuse, right?
More will be revealed.