Life is Good

I have a "no-plans" weekend spread out in front of me and it feels so good. The boyfriend and I weren't very compatible afterall. After the initial infatuation period was dwindling the reality was we did not have that much in common, and there were some traits about him that I decided I did not want to experience. So, we were able to break it off without too much drama. At least I think so, I don't feel dramatic about it at all. It was tempting, though at first. I will continue to date but apply what I learned in this instance, and keep things light. The too much too soon thing does not work well for me, I find.

I had three good gym workouts this week. My food is pretty good, and I feel balanced. I feel acceptance and peace. I love that. I find that I have forgiven any and all of my ex boyfriends. This dating experienced showed me how much I have grown and healed in the past few years. It is truly amazing. I feel very good about myself. I also still love my job, now that is a MIRACLE!!!

I want to focus more on balance. I love the feeling. I had started to feel some anxiety with the relationship and that is how I knew it was not the right fit for me. Among other things. But now I feel ok. I took care of me, and was as good as I can be to the other person.

I planted flowers last weekend and have more to plant this weekend. It is too wet to get my junge of weeds cut, but I can drop in some big lillies I bought, and put in some containers of impatients.

More will be revealed!!

More Update

Here is a recent photo from when my boyfriend and I were at my friend's cabin on his birthday. For now I cropped him out. I love the picture because I was so happy that morning. We had a wonderful couple of days together even though we were both sick with colds and he had just quit smoking. We have been dating for almost two months now. I am getting adjusted to all the added activity. I like a balance. New boyfriend and new job at the same time - very exciting but big changes.

I needed some big changes. I feel much more positive. I feel like I have my personality back. At work I feel outgoing and friendly. I have my sense of humor back. Daughter and I go to the gym together at least once a week. I have been trying to go two or three times a week. I focus mostly on weight resistance there and get my cardio by walking on my lunch hour. I need to step it up a bit. Boyfriend likes to take me out to eat often and thankfully I have not gained weight because most of the time I make wise choices.

I am learning how to date and be myself with someone. I can honestly say that no matter what happens with this relationship, I feel fantastic about myself right now. I have come a long, long way.

Wow

It has been too long. I have been very busy with new job, kid stuff and dating. I have been maintaining my loss of about 5 or 6 pounds. I'd like to lose a few more, even though this current size is very easy to maintain, it is just a smidge too big. I'd be more comfortable with a few more inches off. My doctor again told me that I am at a good weight (perfect, he says, that's why I love him!) but I want to feel lean and I am not there yet. I have been going to the gym regularly, but last week was so busy I did not get there at all. I don't like it when that happens. My commute is much longer now so I am still adjusting and finding ways to manage my time. I listen to inspirational stuff in the car to make good use of my time to and from work.

I love the area where I work. It is alive and interesting with shops and restaurants. I also still love the job, and have now been there a month.

I have to go, though, but will make it a point to blog more. Need to get the balance. Will be working in the garden this week, putting in flowers.

More will be revealed..

Update

I have finally broken my plateau. I have lost 7 pounds and have not gained any back. This is very good. I was stuck for months and months and months. I am keeping regular gym dates. I have finished my old job and am ready to start the new one on Friday. It feels so very good to not work there anymore. Friday was my last day and it was not until today when I went to my old favorite coffee shop to relax, that it really sunk in. It was high stress right up until the very end. In fact I worked late on my last day. A couple of the lawyers I worked with did not even say goodbye. So very glad to close the chapter on that. I feel like I am getting my old self back. I am also dating a man that I feel like I can be myself with. It feels very comfortable right now. Need to run for now, errands and a gym date. More will be revealed...

Weight Loss

I have had some weight loss in the past week. Finally back in the 150's. That is a real boost to break that plateau or barrier or whatever it was. Maybe I can move on now. I hope so.

New Beginning

Friday Thoughts

I have had a headache for two weeks or so. I wake up with it. I finally went to the clinic and got antibiotics and nasal spray for sinus infection. This is the time of year I get the big one. Not every year but some years. So I wish I would treat them sooner but at least I am treating it now. I stayed home from work today. So far I have kept up with my weekly minimum of workouts. I am also feeling more positive. I want to get back to the me I have been reading from a couple of years ago. That mindset was beaten down with life's unexpected events but I have been learning more forgiveness and perseverance from it. The achy head is not my favorite thing but I will rest. I will ignore the messy house, reminding myself that these things will be cleaned and organized when I feel better. I will drink water all day long and rest. That is the only thing on my agenda. Rest and gratitude and positive thinking.

I visited a friend in the hospital last night. She has been there since Monday and was there a few days last week. She was in pain and very uncomfortable. I did not know what help I could be to her but wanted to visit and do what I could. I could see she was in pain and I knew her next med dose was not for at least 4 hours so I told her there was probably a back up script in her chart in case things got bad and asked her if it was okay if I talked to the nurse. We got her a dose of something that helped her feel good enough to sleep. I stayed until she was comfortable and sleeping. I feel like I am not "there" for people much. I know how to take care of kids but not so much other adults. It was good to go and do what I could. Last week when I was looking up references to provide for this current job pursuit, I found out one of my old associates had died just this past February. I was shocked and sad. I had not been in contact for years. It made me want to do lunch with people. To stop everything and just spend a couple of weeks catching up. To stop wasting time putting things off and to stop isolating. It is real comfy isolating, though. But I have been making some calls.

I know the past two years took my way out of my comfort and routine. I had to walk through my biggest fears. Even things I never even thought about but would have feared had I thought of them. But I am still here and I still have the opportunity to share with others and build on all of my life experience.

I still love Fridays. I have neither lost nor gained weight, I guess I am maintaining. Soon I will lose those ten pounds. More will be revealed