This week my daughter and I spent a full day (Wednesday) in the ER for her panic/anxiety. We have finally found a therapist who saw us the following day in the evening. We also found a new MD who saw her Friday for over an hour. It was a week of revealing information and much time spent with medical people. It was scary and I think I am in a bit of a shock. The good news is that my daughter is getting some help. There is no instant cure for what she is dealing with but there is help. I have been looking for a therapist that would be a good fit for her and a new doc and this week after persistent phone calls and such, I finally found them. They are on the same street and about two miles from our house. They are available, flexible and they both spent way more than the average visit with us. Over an hour. I think it is amazing.
I had no idea my daughter struggled as much as she did during the school day. Now I understand why she spends so much time at home in the evening on her studies. She basically home schools herself (doing a good job with a GPA of 4.0) because in class she struggles with anxiety so much that it is hard to participate. Anyway, I don't want to get into her personal stuff on here too much but I am both releived to understand some of it but also sad that I never knew before so that I could be more helpful. She was so highly functional except for the sleep problems that I did not know how bad it was.
So I missed work and had to work Saturday because we have a big deal closing right before Christmas and a trial in the first week of the new year. I am just glad I have work frankly and that I have insurance and am getting paid. So the week was a balancing act. My mood is good but I think I am in survival mode. We Christmas shopped last night which was nice. For a few days we forgot about the holiday entirely but we are back into it.
Things will get better but right now I need to be there even more than usual for the kids. Grandson lost his other Grandmother right after Christmas in January 2007. Even though it was a few years back, it is still present. I feel good about where we are as a family. I feel good about the holidays and life in general. But the gym is on the back burner this weekend and food, well, not so bad but not so great, either.
I had a friend give me a guilt trip yesterday because I cancelled plans because I was working so long. I don't need friends like that right now. I was really happy to be working and focused yesterday because I was way too distracted during the week. No, I don't have time to entertain people, but I do have time for the priorities in my life right now. And that's what matters to me today.
More will be revealed..