My first two days are good but not perfect eating. I have not exercised. I am exhausted. I want my positive self back. This is a week of mourning of sorts. Mourning things that are lost and appear lost at the moment. Things I can't change. The past. Maybe it is necessary but I want it to pass. I still dread picking my brother up tomorrow night. I don't know why. I feel full of dread. I am afraid to be this honest but hope that if I am these feelings will go away. They are just feelings. There is nothing terrifying about picking people up at the airport - I have done it with joy many times in the past. These are feelings and I want to let them go. I want to release the anxiety I feel about nearly every part of my life tonight. It has to pass. I don't understand it, I don't want to understand it. I just want it to go away.
I want my sense of humor back, too!!