Hard to believe I have not blogged in almost two weeks. I have been busy in a very good way. Last weekend I did some major cleaning. I am very happy with my first floor. I enjoy being there again. I have also been taking very long walks with the dog. Tonight we walked about five and a half miles - in an hour and fifteen minutes. We took an hour walk Tuesday night and a forty minute walk on Monday. Those are good workouts for me, and the dog is very happy, too. But, I did not have good walking shoes and my feet were starting to bother me. So, tonight I went out and bought some very comfy and supportive shoes. They feel great. What a difference! I cannot wait to try them out tomorrow. Next, I want hiking boots because I am planning to do some scenic hikes now that the weather is cooling down.
I am feeling good again. The kids are enjoying school. Daughter is doing fantastic now. She has a part time job, she drives herself to school and work. Being busy is good for her. Grandson has a knee problem, but we went to the right doctor and he is going to have some physical therapy, etc. Long word for it, but not serious. He is very athletic, two gym classes plus weight room after school. First he was really upset about having to limit his activities for the next month, but he is feeling ok about it now. I am glad I took care of it right away so it can get better.
Taking care of my little circle of responsibility (me, my household, the two kids) is what we talked about in therapy the other night. I had two sessions this week and one last week. I think I should go often. It helps. I get confused and feel responsible for people when I am not. I feel guilty about being happy if someone else is not happy and so on. Anyhow, I am getting better now.
When I am feeling healthier mentally, I treat myself better physically. It comes naturally. I couple of weeks ago, feeling desperate, I bought HCG diet drops on the internet. When they arrived I was afraid to use them. The diet is 500 calories a day, except the first two days where you eat "lots of fattening food" - this all sounded bizarre to me. The HCG drops are supposed to contain a hormone (HCG) that makes this all work out really good, you lose fat, not muscle, don't feel hunger, and so on, but I was scare of it. I was pissed I spend so much money on it. I decided to do it, and tried to have day one yesterday, but I ended up flushing it down the toilet in a restroom at work. It made me feel kind of light headed. I did not want to eat a bunch of fattening food, either. Isn't that great? I was instructed to eat as much as I wanted, and I did not rush out and gorge. I have definitely come a long, long, way. I did not even like thinking about eating a bunch of fatty foods. And, I did not want eat 500 calories a day for 23 days and not exercise. I did not want to take drops when I really was not sure of all their contents - 20 percent alcohol - a substance I am not supposed to ingest.
I feel good about the flushing of the expensive weight loss drops. When I lost the big weight I did it by eating in balance. I lost and kept the weight off by eating healthy food in smaller portions and by maintaining a balance in my life. I have not gained very much weight. This is not a major catastrophe. But it needs to be addressed immediately. I feel excited again. I look forward to changing my body. I know I can do this. I can adapt my program now to what works for me at this point in my life.
Long dog walks are working well this week. And that's good enough for me!