Ok. Today was my swollenest, puffiest day. I did not want to weigh in but I decided to do it because ducking the truth gets me in trouble. I ate shrimp, pork roast, drank diet soda, and had salty popcorn and a bunch of celery yesterday. All salty. But I don't care. I re-programmed the mystery scale at this highest weight. So it is all down hill from here. I still fit my pants but I don't like the bulges. I like it when I am regularly working out. I realize sometimes I will have lapses, and gains but it is VERY IMPORTANT in fact, CRUCIAL to get back on track as fast as possible. Perhaps some day my slips will be shorter and have less impact. This is the worst I think I have had but that makes it scarier. So, consider me scared straight for now.
I am invoking all the good things I have learned. Except one thing I won't give up yet and that is my coffee. I will measure my creamer, though, and maybe even give it up, too. I am prepared with my baked chicken breast, eggs to boil, etc. I am going to use the Mary Lou scale to get ten pounds down. Then take a look at things. I never got down as low as I wanted to, and to be honest I could even be happy at what I am now, but I need a cushion to fluctuate in, and I am not there.
Right now I just want my habits back. My tracking, my lean protein, my portions and most of all my workouts. I did some ab work yesterday and I still have my strength. I can still do things, just not feeling as nimble, and fit.
I am hoping someday when I am reaching for those goodies, that I stop and think "Do I really want to have to work even harder to deal with the consequences?" because sweets impact me...they start that trend toward more sweets, and then more other stuff, and then just plain more...do I really want to do that?
For today I am drinking lots of water and thinking positive. Negative thoughts will make things worse. I have a prison visit today...vending machines...but they have bottled water...
More will be revealed.