My laptop wifi is not working. Sad but true. Will need to address it soon. Last week was an eating week, after loosing more weight the previous week, so I am up today but it should slack back down again. I am still in a range that is fine with me. I have been getting exercise regularly and have been in a good mood much of the time in spite of many things.
I had a nice getaway the weekend before this one. My ex walking buddy and I went and spent the night and a couple days on my friend's lake property. I got plenty of fresh air and sunshine. I relaxed, fished (even caught some) and played in the waterfalls. After a nice weekend together walking buddy (who had been amorous in the cabin) started describing his confusion, missing parts and how he was not ready for a relationship. I was annoyed about his communication methods (text and then not answer my calls) and told him I did not want to hear from him anymore. He was one of those withdraw the affection kind of people who avoid communicating. He can't help it really and surely does not do it on purpose. But that stuff makes me feel starved and neglected so we were not a good fit for a relationship. I may not have been very sensitive about it but my self preservation instincts kicked in - I've spent too long with guys like this and it leads to misery and self doubt. It was nice for me to make a decision not to continue to converse with him (because I knew I'd take it personally) and quit before things got icky. I am glad to not be trying to have a relationship with someone like him or thinking there's something wrong with me. He's not a bad person, and has many good qualities. I enjoyed the time we spent together, but he's not for me, and I see that without any feeling of tragedy.
Anyhow, work continues to be a physically painful, and mentally straining operation. More aggressive deadlines. I am looking forward to July 31st when I get my official 60 day notice. Maybe I will do something that night to commemorate or celebrate. I anticipate an emotional wave like I had when I got "notice of my notice" so I want to prepare. I also took August 1st off so I'd have a nice long weekend to look forward to. And I am taking this Friday and a half of a day Thursday off. I am making sure I take time to enjoy life. It's not all about working my butt off and then being unemployed. The unemployment part is like a distant mirage of an oasis in my current sweltering desert of labor. I look to it sometimes with desperate anticipation.
I try to find joys in my workdays but they are not so easy to find. I am trying to enjoy some of the people I know here, and appreciate what I can. Also trying to enjoy my evenings rather than come home, make dinner and collapse somewhere.
I have been bike riding in the mornings often and taking many long walks. If I can get through this phase of my life with more joy than pain, then I have really accomplished the personality transformation I have been working for.
More will be revealed...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Post Holiday Report
I am down a pound after a holiday. What a joy that is. I am now in the range I like. I want to keep increasing exercise but not lose much more weight. This size (152 pounds and sizes 6, 8 and 10) is a good size for me. Just two pounds over the normal BMI. I am just not a skinny type of a person really. Never was.
Had a real nice weekend. I have been eating lean meat cooked on the grill. I did not get as much sleep as I would like but I am still working on that. Even with the new prescription the doctor gave me I am still waking up at early hours (like 4) and having trouble going back to sleep. This phase will pass. I took a great hike on Friday by myself in the woods and then met a friend who took a shorter walk back into the woods with me. I took my walking buddy to the swan pond last night. He liked it. We have another trip planned this weekend to my favorite place but it is subject to change or postponement depending on how our weeks go. It may end up just the two of us with an overnight in my friend's guest cabin. Or we may not go at all. I think it will be nice if we do, but if we don't I will enjoy being able to do something else.
I feel very flexible right now about plans. I make them sometimes but I am always open to change, cancellation, etc. I have been leaving myself open with unstructured time so I can take care of things at my own pace. My work weeks have been so stressful and busy that I need to balance things out with flexibility and low pressure weekends.
Very much a go with the flow state of mind going on today....
UPDATE - Just found this on NPR about the BMI - (I feel better already!!)
Weekend Edition math guy Keith Devlin graded the body mass index and tells host Scott Simon that it fails on 10 grounds:
1. The person who dreamed up the BMI said explicitly that it could not and should not be used to indicate the level of fatness in an individual.
The BMI was introduced in the early 19th century by a Belgian named Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet. He was a mathematician, not a physician. He produced the formula to give a quick and easy way to measure the degree of obesity of the general population to assist the government in allocating resources. In other words, it is a 200-year-old hack.
2. It is scientifically nonsensical.
There is no physiological reason to square a person's height (Quetelet had to square the height to get a formula that matched the overall data. If you can't fix the data, rig the formula!). Moreover, it ignores waist size, which is a clear indicator of obesity level.
3. It is physiologically wrong.
It makes no allowance for the relative proportions of bone, muscle and fat in the body. But bone is denser than muscle and twice as dense as fat, so a person with strong bones, good muscle tone and low fat will have a high BMI. Thus, athletes and fit, health-conscious movie stars who work out a lot tend to find themselves classified as overweight or even obese.
4. It gets the logic wrong.
The CDC says on its Web site that "the BMI is a reliable indicator of body fatness for people." This is a fundamental error of logic. For example, if I tell you my birthday present is a bicycle, you can conclude that my present has wheels. That's correct logic. But it does not work the other way round. If I tell you my birthday present has wheels, you cannot conclude I got a bicycle. I could have received a car. Because of how Quetelet came up with it, if a person is fat or obese, he or she will have a high BMI. But as with my birthday present, it doesn't work the other way round. A high BMI does not mean an individual is even overweight, let alone obese. It could mean the person is fit and healthy, with very little fat.
5. It's bad statistics.
Because the majority of people today (and in Quetelet's time) lead fairly sedentary lives and are not particularly active, the formula tacitly assumes low muscle mass and high relative fat content. It applies moderately well when applied to such people because it was formulated by focusing on them. But it gives exactly the wrong answer for a large and significant section of the population, namely the lean, fit and healthy. Quetelet is also the person who came up with the idea of "the average man." That's a useful concept, but if you try to apply it to any one person, you come up with the absurdity of a person with 2.4 children. Averages measure entire populations and often don't apply to individuals.
6. It is lying by scientific authority.
Because the BMI is a single number between 1 and 100 (like a percentage) that comes from a mathematical formula, it carries an air of scientific authority. But it is mathematical snake oil.
7. It suggests there are distinct categories of underweight, ideal, overweight and obese, with sharp boundaries that hinge on a decimal place.
That's total nonsense.
8. It makes the more cynical members of society suspect that the medical insurance industry lobbies for the continued use of the BMI to keep their profits high.
Insurance companies sometimes charge higher premiums for people with a high BMI. Among such people are all those fit individuals with good bone and muscle and little fat, who will live long, healthy lives during which they will have to pay those greater premiums.
9. Continued reliance on the BMI means doctors don't feel the need to use one of the more scientifically sound methods that are available to measure obesity levels.
Those alternatives cost a little bit more, but they give far more reliable results.
10. It embarrasses the U.S.
It is embarrassing for one of the most scientifically, technologically and medicinally advanced nations in the world to base advice on how to prevent one of the leading causes of poor health and premature death (obesity) on a 200-year-old numerical hack developed by a mathematician who was not even an expert in what little was known about the human body back then.
The BMI was introduced in the early 19th century by a Belgian named Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet. He was a mathematician, not a physician. He produced the formula to give a quick and easy way to measure the degree of obesity of the general population to assist the government in allocating resources. In other words, it is a 200-year-old hack.
2. It is scientifically nonsensical.
There is no physiological reason to square a person's height (Quetelet had to square the height to get a formula that matched the overall data. If you can't fix the data, rig the formula!). Moreover, it ignores waist size, which is a clear indicator of obesity level.
3. It is physiologically wrong.
It makes no allowance for the relative proportions of bone, muscle and fat in the body. But bone is denser than muscle and twice as dense as fat, so a person with strong bones, good muscle tone and low fat will have a high BMI. Thus, athletes and fit, health-conscious movie stars who work out a lot tend to find themselves classified as overweight or even obese.
4. It gets the logic wrong.
The CDC says on its Web site that "the BMI is a reliable indicator of body fatness for people." This is a fundamental error of logic. For example, if I tell you my birthday present is a bicycle, you can conclude that my present has wheels. That's correct logic. But it does not work the other way round. If I tell you my birthday present has wheels, you cannot conclude I got a bicycle. I could have received a car. Because of how Quetelet came up with it, if a person is fat or obese, he or she will have a high BMI. But as with my birthday present, it doesn't work the other way round. A high BMI does not mean an individual is even overweight, let alone obese. It could mean the person is fit and healthy, with very little fat.
5. It's bad statistics.
Because the majority of people today (and in Quetelet's time) lead fairly sedentary lives and are not particularly active, the formula tacitly assumes low muscle mass and high relative fat content. It applies moderately well when applied to such people because it was formulated by focusing on them. But it gives exactly the wrong answer for a large and significant section of the population, namely the lean, fit and healthy. Quetelet is also the person who came up with the idea of "the average man." That's a useful concept, but if you try to apply it to any one person, you come up with the absurdity of a person with 2.4 children. Averages measure entire populations and often don't apply to individuals.
6. It is lying by scientific authority.
Because the BMI is a single number between 1 and 100 (like a percentage) that comes from a mathematical formula, it carries an air of scientific authority. But it is mathematical snake oil.
7. It suggests there are distinct categories of underweight, ideal, overweight and obese, with sharp boundaries that hinge on a decimal place.
That's total nonsense.
8. It makes the more cynical members of society suspect that the medical insurance industry lobbies for the continued use of the BMI to keep their profits high.
Insurance companies sometimes charge higher premiums for people with a high BMI. Among such people are all those fit individuals with good bone and muscle and little fat, who will live long, healthy lives during which they will have to pay those greater premiums.
9. Continued reliance on the BMI means doctors don't feel the need to use one of the more scientifically sound methods that are available to measure obesity levels.
Those alternatives cost a little bit more, but they give far more reliable results.
10. It embarrasses the U.S.
It is embarrassing for one of the most scientifically, technologically and medicinally advanced nations in the world to base advice on how to prevent one of the leading causes of poor health and premature death (obesity) on a 200-year-old numerical hack developed by a mathematician who was not even an expert in what little was known about the human body back then.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Another Quickie
In June I think I lost two more pounds, and I kept off the May loss. So things are moving along. I feel good. I had a nice doctor's appointment. My weight was a pound less than it was last August. We did blood work so I will get to see the difference weight loss has made in my cholesterol. It was to the edge when I was at my high weight. My ratio was just up to the end of normal. I have been getting more exercise and also improving my attitude at work.
My day trip Saturday was fun. I was sleep deprived, though, but even on top of that I had a good time. I needed to get away and relax and have some fun. Also, my friend is handy at fixing things. A call from my tenant came in on the way home and he offered to go take a look at the dryer. I was so tired I did not want to do it but he said let's just go do it. So we did. He took the back off and was sitting behind it a for a while. I came in to check and he had fished a pair of women's underwear from the motor fan. The dryer was fixed. I was overjoyed. It was also funny. In fact, on my way home I could not call the tenant and tell her the dryer was working because I was laughing too hard. Him sitting back there tossing the undies to me and explaining the situation..
Anyway, my work week has had its ups and downs. But yesterday seemed to be a breakthrough for me. I feel like the fever broke and I am on my way to better mental health where the office is concerned. The doctor prescribed something to help me sleep which is actually an old anti-depressant that they quit using for depression because it makes people drowsy. I think I am getting the benefits from it now. Sleep and some anti-depressant treatment.
Whatever it is I will take it. I rode my bike at 6 a.m. yesterday, and again in the evening. I grilled on the newly renovated gas grill (handy friend rebuilt it on Sunday) on my patio two nights in a row. I have a sense of well being more now than I have had for a while.
More will be revealed. I plan to catch up on my blogging this weekend. Looking forward to a no-plans weekend of piddling around the house and yard, and sleeping..and doing whatever I feel like.
My day trip Saturday was fun. I was sleep deprived, though, but even on top of that I had a good time. I needed to get away and relax and have some fun. Also, my friend is handy at fixing things. A call from my tenant came in on the way home and he offered to go take a look at the dryer. I was so tired I did not want to do it but he said let's just go do it. So we did. He took the back off and was sitting behind it a for a while. I came in to check and he had fished a pair of women's underwear from the motor fan. The dryer was fixed. I was overjoyed. It was also funny. In fact, on my way home I could not call the tenant and tell her the dryer was working because I was laughing too hard. Him sitting back there tossing the undies to me and explaining the situation..
Anyway, my work week has had its ups and downs. But yesterday seemed to be a breakthrough for me. I feel like the fever broke and I am on my way to better mental health where the office is concerned. The doctor prescribed something to help me sleep which is actually an old anti-depressant that they quit using for depression because it makes people drowsy. I think I am getting the benefits from it now. Sleep and some anti-depressant treatment.
Whatever it is I will take it. I rode my bike at 6 a.m. yesterday, and again in the evening. I grilled on the newly renovated gas grill (handy friend rebuilt it on Sunday) on my patio two nights in a row. I have a sense of well being more now than I have had for a while.
More will be revealed. I plan to catch up on my blogging this weekend. Looking forward to a no-plans weekend of piddling around the house and yard, and sleeping..and doing whatever I feel like.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Quickie
The talking scale has been playing happy music and cheering me this week. I took an nice walk with a nice guy on Tuesday. It was a hot evening but we were on a shaded trail so it worked out nicely. I took many photos. I had fun. Work has been stressful. I am taking tomorrow afternoon off. Saturday I am getting up at 3 a.m. to go on a little day trip with the nice guy. We will see the sunrise out in the country and he will fish for a bit and then we will explore some junk/antique shops. It is supposed to be very hot that day. I need tomorrow afternoon to prepare. I have wardrobe issue to address. I'd like to take a dip in a swimming area and want to have the right attire. Swimming attire is a delicate issue...
I need to take more breaks, have more fun and let more go. Daughter is still keeping the kitchen clean. It has been a week now of clean and empty sinks. It makes a huge difference for me.
I am also excited that next weekend is a three day weekend.
On carb deplete - I still get a mental impairment/mood impact from it. I have to do a modified version. Must be something about my chemical makeup. But whatever it is I have to watch out and be very careful..
More will be revealed.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Inspired
Helen's progress on the carb deplete (a/k/a Crack Diet) has inspired me to do a little carb depleting of my own, and to find the book and re-educate myself. Today is my first day and I am feeling fine. I feel like I need to detox because I was having evening carbs last week and the scale was up and down. In spite myself I was at my lower weight today, keeping off my May loss. I want a loss for June and June is almost over but I think I will come out ahead. I have been feeling positive and motivated. I am walking more and eating better. Daughter had a small birthday party for a friend over the weekend and I was good (not perfect) about avoiding the goodies.
My weekend was busy but in a good way. I even finished my gardening projects. I added some trusty petunias for color. I tend to have good luck with them, and impatients. I like things that bloom all the time. My visit with my parents was nice, although a little short. I went by myself on Sunday morning and came back in the evening. My father is getting more and more impaired. I brought my laptop and showed him pictures on the big screen. He enjoyed that very much. I will be doing more of that. I also took the afternoon off today so I could go to the therapist (Hooray for the EAP and my 8 free visits!!) and take the kids to the dentist. I feel great that we are all getting taken care of.
My drive to see my folks was amazing because of the wildflowers blooming in the bright sunlight. I stopped numerous times and ran up and down the two lane highway in my flipflops taking pictures. They were spectacular. I enjoyed it so much and I had not expected such a treat.
I feel very upbeat and positive. Better than I have felt in months. I am going to enjoy every moment of it and build upon it.
Day one of my version of carb deplete almost finished...
Friday, June 19, 2009
Ahhhhhhhhhhh Friday
It seems like ages since I posted but it was only Sunday. My week of having lots of employees has finished. And what a week it has been, not just about work. I have felt better this week than I have in months. Sunday night I went to meet a man for a walk. I have been dabbling in my spare time on a free dating website. He was one of a few contacts I'd made although I was getting a bit turned off to him I decided to give him one last shot. We met on the riverfront and I kept thinking of my homeless brother. I always think of him because I know he stays around that park most days. I know he loves to go to the free concerts there and I could hear a band playing in the distance. It was a lovely evening to be there. The guy was a dud really and I kept picking up on little judgemental comments, not towards me but towards other stuff. I knew if I ran into my brother it would be awkward. It was already dull and he kept walking ahead of me and stuff. Miracle of Miracles his daughter called. He said she borrowed his car and he was worried so maybe that's why he seemed distant. I heard him talking to her and it was obvious there was trouble with the car. I strongly encouraged him to go help her. He did, I was elated when he left.
I went towards the bandstand thinking I'd see my brother. I did. He told me he had been talking to a woman who had seen him walking to work each day. She was a woman who refused to rent to him when he had plenty of money last year saved up from staying with me. She had been leery of him. She had a big change of heart. She had realized he was now homeless but still working and taking care of himself (I talked to her at length later) and she wanted to give him a chance. She had approached him about needing a place because she has several inexpensive units. She was prorating the rent and he had the rent money but was short on the deposit. She was encouraging him to get some assistance from local churches. I called her right there from my cell phone. I chipped in the rest and wrote a check for him to give her. My other brother and sister are chipping in, too. The place is a small one room efficiency with a small bathroom/shower. One price for utilities and rent. It is perfect and in the perfect location. It could not be more perfect. He makes enough for the rent. He just needs a little help getting started.
He moved in the next day. He basically had nothing but a change of clothes, a supply of underwear and sox and the travel bag of toiletries he carried with him. But we were overjoyed with the little room - furnished with all he needs. He'd been sleeping on a bench a church let him use which was under a roof and out of the rain. And he'd been getting a hotel room once a week. I called the church the next day to thank them for being kind to him and asked if they knew of any charities to help get household supplies like a broom, a few dishes, cleaning supplies, etc. Not much, just necessities. The new landlady had given him bedding. I gave him a few things, too. The church called me back and they said people are bringing things Sunday and I can pick them up Monday. I also found a place to get free clothes tomorrow. I am being careful not to run out and buy stuff. I have to be frugal myself and remember that I am losing my job in the not so distant future. So his needs are being met and I am not taking responsibility for him.
I stopped by today to drop off a few items he had at my house. The landlady had brought a wonderful supply of bagels, bakery goods and bread from a bakery. Yummy things. And he'd been to a food pantry and had some other food. It was so good to see him cozy in his room, out of the harsh heat. So wonderful I have been happy all week about this. A great weight has lifted. He says he is glad to be back "in the system" and we were so tickled to see he had a mailbox with his name on it. The things we take for granted are such joys to those who have done without. I e-mailed his address to my Mom and other brother and he'd already gotten a card and a letter from them.
I can stop by and see him now sometimes on evenings when I am on my way home from work. He is in the area he loves. He is working and he is dedicated to paying his rent on time. We are going to help him work things out. I can't describe how happy this makes me.
And on top of that joyous event, I think I may have found a walking buddy. One of my other suitors from the dating site turned out to be pleasant and more in tune with me. We met for an evening walk Tuesday and walked for an hour and a half, then had lattes at a coffee house. It was nice. I could talk to him about anything, my sons in prison, my homeless brother, my interesting past. He even offered to take me to a thrift store to shop for brother. We are meeting next Tuesday for another walk at a different spot. I think it's nice. I will continue to meet others if I feel a possible connection. I am learning how to date. For some reason my photos and profile have attracted a steady stream of mail.
I'd love to tell stories of the job but that will have to wait. All I can say is I worked really hard all week, mentally and physically and it feels good. I am reminded of Rosa Parks who said after walking instead of taking the bus (in protest of discrimination) that her feet were tired but her soul was rested. Well, my entire body is tired, but my soul is rested. In fact my heart is singing!
Oh one more miracle -- when I was leaving for work this morning my teenage daughter was scrubbing pots and pans in an apron and rubber gloves. It was not a hallucination. I came home to a sparkling kitchen, my life long dream has been realized... I am the luckiest woman on the planet
More will be revealed....
I went towards the bandstand thinking I'd see my brother. I did. He told me he had been talking to a woman who had seen him walking to work each day. She was a woman who refused to rent to him when he had plenty of money last year saved up from staying with me. She had been leery of him. She had a big change of heart. She had realized he was now homeless but still working and taking care of himself (I talked to her at length later) and she wanted to give him a chance. She had approached him about needing a place because she has several inexpensive units. She was prorating the rent and he had the rent money but was short on the deposit. She was encouraging him to get some assistance from local churches. I called her right there from my cell phone. I chipped in the rest and wrote a check for him to give her. My other brother and sister are chipping in, too. The place is a small one room efficiency with a small bathroom/shower. One price for utilities and rent. It is perfect and in the perfect location. It could not be more perfect. He makes enough for the rent. He just needs a little help getting started.
He moved in the next day. He basically had nothing but a change of clothes, a supply of underwear and sox and the travel bag of toiletries he carried with him. But we were overjoyed with the little room - furnished with all he needs. He'd been sleeping on a bench a church let him use which was under a roof and out of the rain. And he'd been getting a hotel room once a week. I called the church the next day to thank them for being kind to him and asked if they knew of any charities to help get household supplies like a broom, a few dishes, cleaning supplies, etc. Not much, just necessities. The new landlady had given him bedding. I gave him a few things, too. The church called me back and they said people are bringing things Sunday and I can pick them up Monday. I also found a place to get free clothes tomorrow. I am being careful not to run out and buy stuff. I have to be frugal myself and remember that I am losing my job in the not so distant future. So his needs are being met and I am not taking responsibility for him.
I stopped by today to drop off a few items he had at my house. The landlady had brought a wonderful supply of bagels, bakery goods and bread from a bakery. Yummy things. And he'd been to a food pantry and had some other food. It was so good to see him cozy in his room, out of the harsh heat. So wonderful I have been happy all week about this. A great weight has lifted. He says he is glad to be back "in the system" and we were so tickled to see he had a mailbox with his name on it. The things we take for granted are such joys to those who have done without. I e-mailed his address to my Mom and other brother and he'd already gotten a card and a letter from them.
I can stop by and see him now sometimes on evenings when I am on my way home from work. He is in the area he loves. He is working and he is dedicated to paying his rent on time. We are going to help him work things out. I can't describe how happy this makes me.
And on top of that joyous event, I think I may have found a walking buddy. One of my other suitors from the dating site turned out to be pleasant and more in tune with me. We met for an evening walk Tuesday and walked for an hour and a half, then had lattes at a coffee house. It was nice. I could talk to him about anything, my sons in prison, my homeless brother, my interesting past. He even offered to take me to a thrift store to shop for brother. We are meeting next Tuesday for another walk at a different spot. I think it's nice. I will continue to meet others if I feel a possible connection. I am learning how to date. For some reason my photos and profile have attracted a steady stream of mail.
I'd love to tell stories of the job but that will have to wait. All I can say is I worked really hard all week, mentally and physically and it feels good. I am reminded of Rosa Parks who said after walking instead of taking the bus (in protest of discrimination) that her feet were tired but her soul was rested. Well, my entire body is tired, but my soul is rested. In fact my heart is singing!
Oh one more miracle -- when I was leaving for work this morning my teenage daughter was scrubbing pots and pans in an apron and rubber gloves. It was not a hallucination. I came home to a sparkling kitchen, my life long dream has been realized... I am the luckiest woman on the planet
More will be revealed....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Going with the Flow
I learned a lesson in going with the flow last week when management wanted to increase the temps on my project from 2 to 11 overnight. I resisted because I was trying to organize the information files and documents they were preparing for scanning so that we'd have it group in a logical order, and so that I'd be able to make the analysis and determination of whether or not it needed to be kept prior to having it prepared for scanning. It made sense to me. I wanted to work at a reasonable pace making sure I could devote some time to my other responsibilities. But I got the additional 9 people and was told to go ahead and let them prep everything even if it was likely it was going to be destroyed. So they'd basically be prepping trash. It did not make sense to me but I had to accept it and work with it.
The 11 people are at the end of the project, I am the last stop. When I have no more work they will be out of jobs. They don't have severance pay. They just have to hope to be moved on to another assignment. So I have 11 people coming to me all day asking questions on documents because I have been training them to some extent on what they can throw away instead of prepping everything. Meanwhile I am going through files and boxes looking for things to purge before they get to it. It's pretty chaotic but there is some order to it. I am making the most of it. I had to accept it and see it another way because that's the only way I can work with a good attitude. I am trying to have fun with it, not worry about it, appreciate the overtime and experience and move on. I was having trouble sleeping and feeling very stressed. It is still stressful but it will pass, and it does not have to be as stressful as I make it when I fight it and think it has to be my way.
I did some work in the landscaped area in front of my condo yesterday. I planted some flowers in planters and set them out and I trimmed bushes. I had a nice chat with my next door neighbor in the process, and he gave me some potting soil. I also worked in the back which has been getting a little overwhelming. Everything is so wet from the high volume of rain we have had. There are leftover leaves on the patio that are turning to sludge and then there are these prickly balls that fall from my big tree. I have been working in small sections, cleaning up. I also planted most of my yearly border of impatients. It does not look as organized and manicured as years past but this is a different kind of year. I still enjoy it and I will eventually get the patio clean. I still enjoy it and I need to make it a point to go and sit out there more.
Being so preoccupied with work I have not been doing the mental (and physical) activities that keep me in a positive state of mind. And I need those things now more than ever. So I am making it a priority to do those things. I have not been to the gym now in months. I have been exercising but not the cardio workouts I get at the gym. I want to make it a priority to get there at least two times this week and take my daughter and grandson, too. Grandson gets plenty of exercise with the things he does for recreation. Daughter has taken a couple of walks with the dog, but other than that nothing much since school let out. We all need it for a better state of mind.
So here I am blogging early in the morning because it is important to me. I want to do the things I enjoy and the things that keep me grounded even though there is a major change going on in my life that is very distracting. I don't want to fall to other methods like eating stuff to relax or cope. I need my healthy attitude and peace of mind now more than ever.
The 11 people are at the end of the project, I am the last stop. When I have no more work they will be out of jobs. They don't have severance pay. They just have to hope to be moved on to another assignment. So I have 11 people coming to me all day asking questions on documents because I have been training them to some extent on what they can throw away instead of prepping everything. Meanwhile I am going through files and boxes looking for things to purge before they get to it. It's pretty chaotic but there is some order to it. I am making the most of it. I had to accept it and see it another way because that's the only way I can work with a good attitude. I am trying to have fun with it, not worry about it, appreciate the overtime and experience and move on. I was having trouble sleeping and feeling very stressed. It is still stressful but it will pass, and it does not have to be as stressful as I make it when I fight it and think it has to be my way.
I did some work in the landscaped area in front of my condo yesterday. I planted some flowers in planters and set them out and I trimmed bushes. I had a nice chat with my next door neighbor in the process, and he gave me some potting soil. I also worked in the back which has been getting a little overwhelming. Everything is so wet from the high volume of rain we have had. There are leftover leaves on the patio that are turning to sludge and then there are these prickly balls that fall from my big tree. I have been working in small sections, cleaning up. I also planted most of my yearly border of impatients. It does not look as organized and manicured as years past but this is a different kind of year. I still enjoy it and I will eventually get the patio clean. I still enjoy it and I need to make it a point to go and sit out there more.
Being so preoccupied with work I have not been doing the mental (and physical) activities that keep me in a positive state of mind. And I need those things now more than ever. So I am making it a priority to do those things. I have not been to the gym now in months. I have been exercising but not the cardio workouts I get at the gym. I want to make it a priority to get there at least two times this week and take my daughter and grandson, too. Grandson gets plenty of exercise with the things he does for recreation. Daughter has taken a couple of walks with the dog, but other than that nothing much since school let out. We all need it for a better state of mind.
So here I am blogging early in the morning because it is important to me. I want to do the things I enjoy and the things that keep me grounded even though there is a major change going on in my life that is very distracting. I don't want to fall to other methods like eating stuff to relax or cope. I need my healthy attitude and peace of mind now more than ever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)