Yesterday's amusement park therapy worked wonders. I got physically active and had fun. It was nice to be with my daughter and her friend and we all had a great time together. She had not seen this friend in a while so it was good for their friendship. I like that the girls talk openly with me about things. One thing they both talked about was how many of the kids they know are now drinking and doing other unmentionable things. They both are swearing those things off for now and are pretty disgusted with it all. They agreed that not having a big social life was better than doing what many of the kids are doing. They talked about how it changed their old friends. I am grateful that they see it the way they do. Good girls day out bonding time!
Anyway, it was all very positive and did me a world of good. This morning I looked on my blog for the past two April postings - I had depression then, too.. and I know I had an episode in 2006 because I remember it was when my friend got married, and for some reason I quit going to the gym and really did not start back up for a long time. I don't have to have that kind of consequence this year. I can do the things that work to get me taking care of my conditions, mental and physical. Like sitting out on my patio, enjoying my flowers and doing my reading and meditations in the morning. I love the backyard. Today was my first morning of the season. There were flowers blooming out there and a calming breeze. It was exquisite.
I wrote out some things in my journal, the things that had been piling up on me emotionally. And one of my readings was about going on a mental diet. This is a week of thought monitoring where you pay attention to your thoughts and if they are negative, you intervene and steer them to the positive. It is not an easy task really, but I plan to try it. It said to take few days before actually starting. I did a mental boot camp in the fall where I focused on positive affirmations all week and it was great. So I can use the same tools when I go on my mental diet. I use the positive statements as replacement thoughts when I catch myself in the negative zones..
Good food for thought. Speaking of food, I still am frustrated by a stuck scale. I have not been tracking very well but I know I am not eating that much. So track I will so I can see what the real deal is. It is not easy to lose weight when getting zero exercise most of the time so the walking yesterday was a good kick start to getting back into regular physical activity. I know that I am on hormone replacement this year and it seems to have some sort of impact on things like water retention but I can't imagine that it would prevent me from losing if I really do eat less, eat right and do some exercising... I am going to track and see what the deal is instead of using it as a reason to give up...that would be the old me. And I am not that person today.
Today's therapy - writing out my grievances and forgiveness, enjoying the garden patio, eating a diet of lean protein and good carbs, exercise of any kind, reading positive and inspiring things..
More will be revealed..
2 comments:
Catching up....I think Cindy, you're doing the right thing in regards to your brother. You've done as much as you can and you have other responsibilities that require your full attention (job, kids, yourself). I can only imagine how hard this is for you.
I'm glad you had a good time at the amusement park and good conversations with your daughter and grandson. Those are worth so much. As for the scale, if you are eating well, don't put too pressure on yourself about the number on the scale. Be good to yourself and keep an eye out on your moods, esp. if you think you're getting depressed.
I truly believe that sometimes we have to disconnect from people we love in order to take care of ourselves. And I also know only too well how difficult that is and how easy it is to self-talk yourself into thinking YOU are a bad person because you do not "fix" the other person. YOU are a GOOD person, Cindy. Your brother has problems. They are not yours. You have gone above and beyond to help him, but you cannot FIX him. I know, I KNOW this is hard to understand. But his life is not your fault.
I'm glad you had a fun day at the amusement park...that sound like a good antidote to your tough week. I am happy for that! :-)
Sending hugs and support your way...
Post a Comment