Monday, April 27, 2009

Pictures Worth a Thousand Words

I found old photos and had to post a comparison. I remember not liking my photo in shorts last Summer. I needed a reality check. I hope I can look like that this Summer. I am about 6 pounds away.. I need to look at these pictures now and again - it is very motivating...The swimsuit babe at the bottom is me in 2003 at the heavy weight I carried for several more years. The after photo is from last August.


Bea said...

Cindy I just finished reading the past week of blogs. I could have written them, only the brother would have been mother and aunt.

I was struck by the nature of the posts. During the worst of the co-dependency attack it seemed like it would never end, all the world was black. And because you could/can not effectively care for your brother you were the blackest of all. And then the attack began to lift.

I have never thought of those "pit" falls as temporary. They seem like an inevitable continuation of something that has been going on since I was a child. But they aren't. They are situation dependant. When you felt like you were avoiding your "god given responsibility to take care of your brother" you spiraled down. As you groped forward in caring for and about yourself you hit bottom and began to come back up.

Wow. What a learning experience for me, the co-dependant extraordinaire. What I learned.

1. Pain is endemic in the world. Why do I think I am responsible to fix all the pain I see?

2. Why do I think I CAN fix all the pain I see? Many times in trying to "fix" a situation I have made it worse. Much worse.

3. If I have to give up vital parts of myself to help, I am adding to the problem. Christ asked us to give up a coat and a little time, not our skin.

4. Co-dependency drags me down into the depths of despair as surely as an would an anchor.

5. When I am drowning in guilt, caring for myself is the way out. This is a paradox that works.

6. If I do #5 the attack will be cured. Like taking antibiotics for an infection.

Thank you for these posts friend Cindy. They have been very valuable for me.

P.S. We are going to a hot springs for the weekend and I look like your "before" bathing suit photo. I am choosing to think you look great in that pic. Cheers

Laura N said...

May will be your month! I'm glad you had a nice time with your daughter & her friend at the amuzement park last Sunday. You needed that break.

I *love* what Bea said. Wise words.

Hope you are feeling a little peace today. Hugs.