Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Today I was only one pound over my starting weight as opposed to two, so I am counting that as a victory. The scale told me that when life hands me a lemon to put it in some natural water and drink it - something like that. I've been putting lime in my water the past day or two. I have a nice tall glass of water right now. But let's talk a little about the lemons.

Today daughter woke up with a raging sore throat. I know she felt hideous but since it is the last day before Thanksgiving break, and she is still making up the work from missing three days last week, she went to school. I felt bad sending her. She took something for the sore throat, and went. She was real grumpy to me but then texted an apology. Last week we had a disagreement with the doctor's office. I have been taking her every time she misses school I constantly tell them that I think she gets sick a lot and what can we do. The past two times she went we had a young woman doctor that we had maybe had once or twice in the past. This doctor made me leave the room. The first visit when she did this she questioned my daughter about her sexual behavior. My daughter does not have an sexual behavior and never has, and told the doctor this. Then she told us she was testing for a urinary tract infection. My daughter went off to pee in a cup. She came back crying. She said they wanted her to pee again and she could not. They wanted two samples. I thought that was odd. Haley felt really sick and I took her and the second cup home. I was suspicious but I complied and brought them back some pee. She said she did not understand why they needed two cups.

I got the lab bill last week. They tested her for pregnancy and two STD's which were all negative. They never told me about these tests, and they never told her. Meanwhile she still gets sick again and this time I am told to leave the room again. She gets questioned again about sex, and also depression and mental stuff. Same doctor who again wants more pee and tests for a urinary tract infection. Now here's the stupidest part. The doctor noted the file the second time that my daughter is sexually active, which Haley again had told her she is not. But, this time she only tested for urinary tract infection and not the other stuff. It made no sense either time but she defended her self when I brought it up by saying that Haley told her she was sexually active the second visit, the visit where she did NOT do the sexually related tests. To make a long story short, I ended up in contact with the head of the entire practice, who was in contact with his lawyer. My daughter, the boss and the dumb doctor (sorry, I am still pissed) met. Haley was allowed to amend her medical record to reflect her lack of sexual activity.

But I still have a kid who gets sick often and instead of looking into other things, I had a doctor obsessing that she was secretly having sex. I had to get this off my chest. They told me seventy percent of girls her age have sex. You know what? i don't care. She doesn't. Can we please figure out why she gets sick so much? Instead of eating I am writing.

I have a lemon doctor. Maybe some moms would be glad the doc is testing for stuff we don't have and assuming my kid is a liar, but I don't appreciate it at all. If I thought she was having sex, I would not take her to the pediatrician for heaven's sake, I'd go to to an OB/GYN. There are lots of places for that stuff. Sheesh.

So I am drinking my lime water and musing over where to take her to the doctor now for the sore throat. We can keep going to the same practice and make sure we never see that one doctor again. But my confidence in them is shot.

I still feel puffy but I am only one pound over my "scare weight" and I am wearing my size six pants so I am not allowed to whine or complain or get all freaked out about weight. I have much to be grateful for. I feel guilty for even worrying about food after hearing a news story about Zimbabwe where people are literally pulling grain kernels out of dung, boiling it and eating it. There's some perspective for me. I feel like fasting and sending the food I would have eaten to Zimbabwe. Seriously. What a luxury problem. Worrying about eating too much. I sent food with my grandson when he visited his mother because they did not have enough, either. And here I am worried about consuming too much...hmmmmmmm

More will be revealed.


jen said...

For some reason this reminded me of weight loss bloggers who say that no matter what symptoms they have when they see the doctor, whether a hangnail or severe pains in the abdomen, the doctors assume it's weight-related. The doctors are seeing a teenager and are convinced any problems must be sexually related. Whether or not the doctors think she is having sex, I'm puzzled as to why they focused their tests on a urinary tract infection if your daughter has a sore throat and is coughing. Hope that they find the real cause of the problem and that she is feeling better soon and that you have a little less stress in your life.

Size six pants, though? WOW.

I just weighed in for the first time on my platorm. I will blog about it after I've had a couple of weigh-ins, but I'll be watching to see what you think.

Cindy...154 said...

not all sixes fit me, in fact my shopping psychology used to be to buy the smallest size that fit good, for a mental boost. I have some eights that fit but can't always fit in those either. Tens are sometimes big but I can always get them on. Sizes are all over the place these days. But the fact remains that there now exist single digit sizes that I wear regularly which is surreal to me.

Helen said...

1. Bad doctors drive me NUTS. In general I have a pack of good ones now and I feel lucky. If I were you, I would change doctors immediately. Their behavior is reprehensible. :-(

2. Thanks for the reminder about how unbalance our world is...I hope I can remember this when I'm enjoying our bounty on Thanksgiving. :-)

Vickie said...
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LG said...

I had a bad case of bronchitis in college. I've had it before and knew what it was -- college health tested me for mono and sent me away with zip for the bronchitis. So I understand your anger about the lemon doctor.

I think she had good intentions but boy, did she screw up. She also committed the big cardinal sin of not backing down and admitting she was wrong. That's REALLY bothersome in a doctor. I want someone who would admit that maybe their first diagnosis might not be right and shift gears.

I agree with Jen's observations too.

I hope she feels better soon and you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Bea said...

Dump the lemon. She will not get better as she believes she is God. YOU are the consumer and she is the employee. This thought would come as a big surprise to her.

Depending on your daughter's age and your state laws what she did could be illegal. If you can afford it get a lawyer and scare the hell out of her. Will also send a message to the clinic staff who employ her.

Just a thought, at least she feels secure enough to get sick. She knows she will be cared for.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Vickie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chamachama said...

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It sees instinctively turning around when it dresses, it behaves, and the woman with beautiful appearance to walk is seen.
After there is a word beautiful backing in Japan, the woman with beautiful appearance is said.
Will you think it is too good somehow though it is not used now?

Laura N said...

Oh I'd be livid! You have every right to be angry with that doctor. And I'd leave in a heartbeat. You know your daughter best. Trust between the two of you is so important, and you have that.

I hope you are doing OK. I like your perspective on the clothing thing, and not beating yourself to death over a few pounds (cause that's what I've been doing).

I'm afraid we are all going to get a lot more perspective in this country over the next few years. I just hope I'm wrong!

Resolute said...

Wow, is that ethical? To do tests without your permission? How very awful and distressing for both you and your daughter. Do you think she could have yeast in her system? I had something similar and saw a very good naturopath. He then used kinesiology to test me for food sensitivities, advised which foods to stay clear from, as well as prescribed some supplements to build my system. It took a few months, but all of it really helped. Before that I had been to see a similar mono-diagnosis doctor, who harped on my age and when I left his office I felt as though my next step would be a wheel chair.

I generally find that medical doctors through the nature of their training are more suited for big picture medical problems, and that the para-medical profession is more suited for the more minor problems. I.e. medical doctors tend to diagnose small problems with big problem diagnoses. Where there was never really a problem, their mission to find one may create a problem.

Anonymous said...

The doctor was doing her job. If your daughter is chronically ill, it's the physician's job to rule out any and all possibilities, even at the risk of offending you.

Besides, is it so out of the realm that your daughter has had sex? How many moms are unaware of their childrens sexual activity? Most. From the doctor's perspective, she was playing the odds and trying to help.