Friday, July 22, 2011

Triggers and Mindfulness

I had a couple of diversions. One was in the evening, at the end the day I picked up the car. I can easily see that was one of those post stress moments, but there were also a couple of dietary triggers in the mix. I can now plan better.. The next was the following day, in response to an ice cream social at work. I made a conscious decision to eat the ice cream which is a conscious decision to set myself back. It is more than just the serving of ice cream because I know that there are other consequences. I believe it was the "oh wells" that came after the diversion from the night before. But I am not doing that today.

My daily word mediation yesterday was about resilience, getting up after a fall to keep on going. So that's what I am doing, as I continue to observe the triggers in my life and find new ways to respond. I was talking to a friend yesterday about "stopping" and what I said was I don't believe I ever just "stop" a behavior without substituting it with something new. I want to focus on the new. My meditation today was about turning points when we change, stripping away the old self with it's old practices and being clothed with the new. I can strip away the old reactions and responses and put on my new habits.

I am experiencing a turning point. I feel different. This has been evolving. I went through some darker times and have emerged. I am still getting to know this newer, changed me. It is not that easy to articulate. I notice how I react to situations and I see how I have changed for the better. Not always with the food, but in the bigger picture of taking care of myself emotionally, I am finding my way. The food will follow. I believe that today. I have noticed there there are some things that I simply do not do anymore, and even better, I don't even think about doing them. The behavior has simply disappeared! If this can be so with some behavior, surely the food behaviors can also disappear. This is how my faith works.

Getting to the mindfulness, I take myself to the waterfalls in my mind and try to get as close as I can to that state of mind I had Monday evening after sitting in the falls. I want to go back to the real falls more often, so the memory of that feeling won't fade. I can emerge from that meditative state and observe my present circumstances with a calm and focused mind. I can stay in the moment. This, and my daily readings are my mainstay for my mental/emotional/spiritual diet.

More will be revealed.


Laura N said...

"I am finding my way. The food will follow." Yes, it will. You are doing it the right way.

your mindfulness & meditation on the falls sound very empowering and peaceful. I'm glad to see you reaching a turning point.

good that the car issue is dealt with.

hope your weekend is revealing and healing and joyful.

Vickie said...
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