Sunday, July 31, 2011

Trail Mix

I hate trail mix, because every so often I trick myself, or lie to myself that I can eat it because nuts are good for me. My office mate had a bag of a very healthy, organic, no salt, etc. trail mix. She left it out for me because I was working late. She kept it on her desk for me and over several days I ended up eating all of it. I my two pounds back, I bought some to replace her back and I ended up opening it and eating the walnuts and pecans out of it and some tried blueberries. On what would have been perfect food days, I lost nothing.

This is making me sick. This nut thing. I am the nut. I cannot have nuts around. They have to be in something that I get somewhere else. If I buy a supply that I want to use to put in things, I eat them all. Who would think unsalted, raw nuts would become mini binge food? I am mad at myself but I have to forgive myself and move on. NO more nuts, this is enough. I have always had problems with them - lack of self control.

I hate when I sabotage myself when I am doing good. Anyway, I went to the gym yesterday so I had my three gym days this week, I am just frustrated that I have NO results and instead a setback because of nuts. It makes me nuts..

Today is a new day.


Vickie said...
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Laura N said...

I understand about the nuts. When I am craving something, I have been reaching for my raw cashews. They add up quickly! It's better than carbs, but I'm still filling that "I gotta eat" desire (when I'm not hungry) instead of figuring out what's really going on.

Weight is a tricky thing. My weight is a good example. On days after I've been "perfect" the scale can actually go UP. It is evening out eventually. I just have to be patient and let my body adjust. Vickie & I have talked about a 3 week window, and if I haven't had a net loss, to reassess. Getting impatient and in a hurry and being tied so tightly to the scale (emotionally, self worth) is a dangerous place to be. It makes us feel like what we are doing (healthy eating, working out) isn't making a difference so why bother? When it really IS, we just aren't being patient enough to see it.

Yes, your nut bingeing needs to be reigned in. You've recognized it, you are changing it. It may have influenced the scale. But you can allow yourself to not be perfect, and it's OK.

Slow & steady... you are making big strides through small steps.