Ok, I feel sloshy. That's the perfect word to describe it. Carb slosh. That's what it is. I forgot my lunch today. I ate a protein bar and had a frozen coffee light for lunch. I had a half a pop tart for breakfast and coffee. Then I had snack wells from the vending machine for snack and I don't consider them snacking well at all. Oh, morning snack was baked lays potato chips from the vending machine. Then there was green popcorn. I write all this because I need to face up to the deal here. I am out there in no man's land with food. It could be worse, but it needs to be better. I don't want to even talk about dinner. I need the Drastic. Maybe a modified Drastic or a realistic Drastic. But some kind of Drastic.
The roller coaster at the office is getting to me somewhat. I have been combing job openings and being mostly positive but then I find myself having moments of sheer stress. Plus I have this project - examining some 270 boxes of documents at the warehouse for destruction or retention, then what gets retained will be scanned and then....I review all the scans and categorize them. Yes, me, just me. It sounds daunting, in addition to my regular job. It's work and it all pays the same but it made me a bit nervous once I wrapped my head around the volume of it. It seems menacing and looming at the moment. I wish I could think of it as a refreshing change from my "normal" job but there is no normal anymore. It think someone said each box could contain 5000 pieces of paper. Not that I look at every sheet...but still...wow.
I don't want to stress eat and I think I need to admit that I am. I am not constantly craving food but I am gravitating to the food and trying not to think about it. I need to think about it. Plan for it and be done with it. Lack of preparation got me today. So tomorrow I must make it a point to be ready tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day, right?
2 comments:
Oh, girl, it can be so much worse, trust me. You aren't eating at your best but at least you aren't taking the ice cream carton to bed with you & finishing it off! That was me, last night.
You are going through a rough time--most of us are. And you are handling things exceptionally well, I think. Your food will get under control again. Mine will too. The drastic is a great idea if only to get off the physiological pull of sugar & carbs.
The boxes sound daunting! But like you said, it's work. It will give you time to keep looking for something new.
Hang in there. A lot of us are in the same boat right now. Maybe a rising tide will come & lift us all. Spring perhaps?
Hope you enjoy your weekend.
You are right. I had an apple last night for my post dinner evening eating and it made me feel kind of ick. But what I really wanted to do was get ice cream. I had to drive by the ice cream drive through place twice last night and I resisted stopping. I need to recognize that as a victory, as progress. It could have been way way worse! I am going to have to walk through this hormone replacement therapy bloating with patience. I am drinking lots of water today and sticking to a decent plan. I know that water retention is common but I have read it subsides after a few weeks, maybe even six. I can adjust my diet to avoid high sodium stuff (like sunflower seeds, baked chips, and other vending machine crap) to avoid excessive retention. I am going to pay attention to my body and do what works..Thanks!!
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